feelin' fine...

woah!

what a wild ride it has been since tony "even-dumber-and-shitter-than george-w-bush" abbott and his gang of mincing ideologues were allocated the leadership of the country by the billionaire arch-villain murdoch

it's a real thrill to suffer an apoplectic fit every time i check the news

warmest year ever recorded? greater consensus from the world's leading scientists on the causes of climate change than ever before?

BAH say the libs!

defund investment in clean energy finance corp (even though it turns a profit) and scrap the commission in charge of interpreting the finding of the experts (a million dollars a year saved!). abbott himself, ever the master statesman, will be able to summarize for the australian people whatever new findings may come to light. (hint: the science is FAKE and GAY)

oh and while we're at it, let's scrap the minister for science portfolio. as tried and true (not to mention true blue) conservatives the libs now have a MANDATE to do away with the loonier excesses of the labor party-- that pesky science ministry has no doubt been a thorn in the liberal party side since it was introduced in '31. that's right-- NINETEEN THIRTY ONE

neither menzies or howard had the balls to take on the hated "left" and it's absurd and irrational insistence on creating policies supported and informed by facts proven through the scientific method

luckily we now have abbott, clearly superior to either of those layabouts, who finally has the BALLS and MASCULINITY and PENIS and WHITE CHRISTIAN MANLINESS and FITNESS, HARDWORK and BALLS and common sense, and good old fashioned FAIR DINKUMNESS to finally scrap the loathed science ministry

even i must admit that you need to be really, really fair dinkum to take the fight to the facts when they don't accord with your particular style of idiocy

indeed it looks like information of all different sorts is set to be cut by the abbott government, presumably to end the waste.

remember those boat arrivals they made a big deal of? seems like they've figured out that because the supposed problems posed by "illegals" are, in fact, 95% made up they can just halt the information about when refugees arrive by boat and -hey presto!- the problem has gone away

i wonder what the liberals and nationals would be squealing if the gillard government had changed the rules so that information on boat arrivals is released at most weekly, and even then only at the immigration minister's pleasure? probably a  front-page call for outright rebellion by the fair dinkum blokes & sheilas of oz accompanied by a photo of julia's face superimposed on ceausecu's body

of course, you can change whatever you like when fundamentally different rules apply. what do you think the chances are of the media establishment making endless noise about refugee arrivals under the liberal government? ha fooled you, fake question. i already know the answer: they wont

so in a sense you really can say that the liberals will "stop the boats"-- the corporate media simply will not relentlessly attack the pro-corporate party in the same way as they did the labor govt, and the minor media outlets will avoid sensationalizing the arrivals because they know their readership won't want to hear it

and the bottom line is that without the shock jocks and sydney morning herald onside the idiots of this country, who more than any other group decide the government, cannot be reached. so yeah, for this reason i predict many many years of abbott governance to come.

but at least there have been some good laughs so far:

-- abbott claiming that in his party women are promoted on merit (as opposed to that pet hate of the lunatic right: quotas) and then appointing almost no women (despite the presence of women undoubtedly more qualified than the men who were ultimately given the ministries) AND THEN lamenting the fact that only one woman made it. dude it's you who picks who gets the job! and the women were right there! why didn't you pick more women if their low representation upsets you LOL!! 

-- all these people expressing how shocked they are at the absence of women in the abbott government when abbott's notorious misogyny WAS ONE OF THE MOST TALKED ABOUT ISSUES OF THE ELECTION FFS

-- abbott appointing himself minister for women's affairs. fucking lol. that ought to silence those critics dude! NOT.

let's say i hypothetically appointed myself minister for decent sex; it still wouldn't mean i know one iota more about having decent sex than i already did (or didn't). indeed it would be downright offensive to all the sexhavers out there that someone so wholly removed from the typical decent sex experience should be appointed minister of their affairs.

i guess all im saying is the minister of women's affairs (or whatever the precise title is) should probably be a women in order to better understand the experience of, well, being a woman. at the very least it seems like an infamous sexist looking to entrench his dated gender stereotypes shouldn't be the minister (and so: lol)

-- abbott swearing to be loyal to the queen rather than the australian people (unlike his predecessors). this one is properly funny. to return to the fair dinkum argument: what could be more fair dinkum than a dude who owes his loyalty to the queen??? at least, i suppose, he's making sure that as he irreparably damages the country he can legitimately claim to have broken no oath as his ultimate loyalty was to an un-elected old woman on the other side of the earth not the people of australia

-- as the rest of the world continues to take steps to reduce emissions and dependency on fossil fuels we are now headed firmly in the opposite direction, at great expense. lol lol lol... i didn't want to have children anyway.

-- the outright pettiness and ideological extremism of the new government. who would have thought such a petty and irresponsible opposition would make for such a vindictive and irrational government lol

-- continued hopelessly one-sided coverage by the major news corporations (all two of them)

-- the obsession from so-called "progressives" since the election on relatively minor social issues (albeit still unarguably important) at the expense of the only two real problems facing us: economic inequality and environmental destruction (problems that the liberals and nationals are explicitly devoted to maintaining and expanding lol)

there are more laughs that i can't remember but they'll come to me, and besides, im sure we will have a lot more laughs to come anyway.

oh yes we are going to share the laughs you and i; big lols about our hopeless government and all the while the real joke will be on us