best last words

i had nothing to do last night so i was just drinking and reading stuff on the internet. one of the things i read was the wikiquote page on last words. so here are the best of them, according only to me, judged by no set criteria.

1)

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
-Thomas Grasso

Grasso was being executed for a series of murders and apparently had a major objection to being served spaghetti rather than spaghetti-o's for his last meal. I like these last words because a) i think they're hilarious and b) i feel like it kind of gives an insight in to how crazy this guy must've been. who gives a damn about the shape your spaghetti is in when youre about to die. i probably couldn't even eat a last meal because i'd be too nervous (about my impending execution)

2)
 
¿Para qué? Estoy bien al nivel de los fusiles..(Why? I'm right at the height of the rifles.)
-Melchor Ocampo

Ocampo was about to be killed by firing squad after being tried in a kangaroo court by some ideological enemies. His last words were a snappy reply to his executioner who ordered him to kneel. I like these last words because they are bad ass. this dude both kept his cool and owned his executioner moments before his own death. i think we all wish we could be this bad ass

3)

You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.
-Alex

these seemingly innocuous last words are cool as hell because they came not from some lame human but from a freakishly smart bird. Alex, an african grey parrot, had been intensively trained by an animal psychologists for years and at the time of his premature death had the intelligence of a five year old human, basic counting skills, and a vocabulary of over 100 words. he would mess around with his trainers when he was bored, and apparently even understood the concept of zero. that too is just plain bad ass. alex died peacefully in his sleep from a heart attack and his last words were said to his trainer 

4)

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.
-Virginia Woolf

i include these last words (it was a last note, really) not because they are bad ass but because they are insanely unbelievably sad. woolf was an author obviously and you can really see those literary skills come in to their own in the suicide note. after writing this to her husband Woolf filled her pockets with stones and walked in to the river

5)

Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!-W.C. Fields

Fields was an old-timey celebrity and from what little i read about him seemed like a bit of a dick. but all the same i believe in credit where credit's due; and these may just be the most bad ass last words of all time. hatred for the world, a non-tacky expression of affection and it's even short and simple. my personal favorite